Midlife Dating?

What you need to know to keep safe

Posted: Thursday, September 01, 2005
You've just re-entered the dating world after an extra long hiatus. Although you've probably "still got it" when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, what you probably don't have is a working knowledge of the dating scene.

Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating Service, the largest personal introduction service in the U.S., shares his tips for keeping yourself and your assets safe in this "new" dating world.

PROTECT YOURSELF

Personal safety. Tell someone where and with whom you're meeting for a date. Call a friend, your sister, a trusted neighbor or your mother. Let them know your date's name, phone number and any other information you might have about him/her. If you can't reach anyone, leave a detailed voice message on the answering service or send a detailed email message.

Use your own reliable transportation. Since you are traveling alone to meet your date, avoid using public transportation to get to and from your destination. The subway and bus aren't always reliable. If you're traveling by cab, be sure to end the date early enough, while cabs are still plentiful. You don't want to get stranded (with or without your date) late at night looking for a cab. Avoid having your date "pick you up" at home. Until you know a lot more about your date, you should not give out your address or telephone number. If you want to talk on the phone, use your cell phone or take advantage of the "Call Block" feature on your home phone to keep your anonymity.

SAFEGUARD YOUR ASSETS

Same goes for your financial information. Don't share information about your finances or be fooled by someone trying to help you "straighten them out" or "invest wisely". Ladies, you may have let your previous mate take care of all things financial, but, times have changed. Women need to take care of their own money. Fraud can be easily committed by someone you are dating and may already trust. If the person you're dating is pressuring you for personal information such as your social security, bank account number or other financial information, regard it as a red flag.

BE AWARE OF DANGER SIGNALS

Temper, temper. You notice your date has a hair-trigger temper. If your new partner frequently bursts into a rage when they're frustrated, or if things don't go their way, it's definitely time to move on. Everyone occasionally gets angry, but when its happens all the time and it's blown out of proportion ? watch out, you could easily find yourself at the receiving end of those violent outbursts!

Jealousy. You've noticed that your date becomes possessive for no good reason. They even seem jealous when you spend too much time with your pet. Excessive jealousy isn't a sign of caring, it's often an attempt to control you by being overly possessive.

Too much too soon. It's early on in your relationship, but your new partner is already pushing for quick involvement and an exclusive commitment. Watch out. When they only want to be with you and are trying to limit your time with family and friends who are 'interfering' with the two of you getting to know each other, it's a sign to put the brakes on. Demanding complete commitment and isolating you from others is definitely not a healthy way to start a relationship.

PROTECT YOUR HEALTH

Hidden dangers. Nowadays, it's dangerous to leave your alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink unattended for even a moment. Protect yourself and your drink glass. Whether you're at a bar, restaurant, party or your date's house, be aware that date-rape drugs (rendering you unconscious) are out there and unfortunately, can be easily dropped in your drink.

Intimacy. Use common sense. There's no need to rush in, reveal too much, or become intimate on the first few dates. It takes time, and usually longer than one or two dates to get to know and really trust someone. Even if you think you've fallen in love, you should still take it slow. If it's real love, it will still be there on date two, three, four, ten and so on. When you do become intimate, be sure to protect yourself from serious health risks such as HIV by not engaging in unprotected sex. Heterosexual people over the age of 50 are the fastest-growing population who are contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

"Although it may seem like a jungle out there when you're back in the dating scene, it can be easily maneuvered with a healthy dose of common sense. It's good when your heart flutters, but remember to use your head at the same time and trust your instinct," noted Falzone.

The Right One and Together Dating Service now offer their expert relationship advice through their complimentary E-books, "A Singles Guide To Finding The Right One" available online at www.therightone.com and "Let Us Introduce You" available online at www.togetherdating.com.

Categories: Health

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