3 steps to a revved up sex life

Posted: Wednesday, August 01, 2007

3 steps to a revved up sex life

There are multiple reasons that our sexual desire wanes as we age:

  • For women, lower estrogen levels result in vaginal dryness and uncomfortable intimacy. Solution: Using an FDA-approved intimate moisturizer/lubricant such as Very Private Intimate Moisture will eliminate the problem instantly and increase intimate pleasure.
  •  Medications can affect libido. Solution: Your doctor may recommend alternate prescriptions that won’t affect your libido or suggest treatments to increase desire.
  • Unresolved emotional issues between partners often result in sexual relationship problems. Solution: Owning up to the issues and resolving them through daily open communication with each other is a must. Only then can sexual problems be rectified and intimacy blossom again. Sometimes professional help may be required to resolve such accumulated hurts.

The good news is that our experts say sexual desire can be reawakened. Dr. Patty Taylor, renowned sexologist and hands-on practitioner (expandedlovemaking.com) and Lou Paget, AASECT* certified sex educator and international best-selling author of The Great Lover Playbook (loupaget.com) have some suggestions.

"When hormones are no longer the primary stimulator to get us in the mood," says Dr. Taylor, "we have to focus on 'pleasure' to become the key motivator. I teach my clients to spend more time than they used to at the start of an intimate encounter by giving their beloved soft, sensual caresses on hands, faces and arms so that the body can warm up slowly, the mind relaxes and can experience the nuances of pleasure and touch without being focused on a specific goal.

"Without pressure to perform," she continues, "partners relax and open up to a far greater degree to feel physical sensations. Being involved, being in the moment, focusing on the pleasure that you feel is being sexy rather than acting sexy. That is definitely the key to spark passion between you and your partner again."

"Practice makes perfect!" adds Paget.

Step 1: Get in the mood mentally.

Think about being intimate hours before you actually get involved in intimacy. Your brain is the most powerful sexual organ. When it gets involved your body will follow. This brain/body connection also works when using aphrodisiacs: books, videos, foods, creams, and scents. If you think they will work, guess what, they will.

For women it is essential that you want to be intimate, not just feel obligated to have to do it for the man in your life. To be truly invested is one of the most powerful ways he feels connected to you. That’s how to establish closeness, emotionally and physically.

Step 2: Get your body moving.

Be active. Your libido will benefit. The better shape your body is in - from a health point of view not dress size - the better its responses to mental or physical stimulation. When you make love to your partner it is your body saying what words cannot. Increase your body awareness to experience greater sensation.

Step 3: Learn something new.

Being involved includes body, soul and mind. Take responsibility for your uniqueness. Keep expanding your sensual and sexual vocabulary. Infuse togetherness with fresh ideas. Try books, DVDs, new products or experiences. Sometimes low libido is more tied to being bored with the same old, same old than hormonal problems. Decide to become a better lover. Being a better lover is like being a better dancer. The more accomplished and confident you become, the more you enjoy it.

Learning opens new possibilities, especially in intimacy.

Jacqueline Brandwynne has worked in the health and beauty industry for more than 25 years and is creator of the Very Private line of products. Visit her at http://www.veryprivate.com/.

Categories: Very Private

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