Older women, younger men - does it work?

Posted: Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A stunning poll by AARP states that just about one third of women between the ages of forty and sixty-nine are dating younger men. Younger, in this survey, is defined as 10 or more years younger. The poll further states that almost 17 percent of women in their 50s have a preference for men in their 40s.

Movie stars like Demi Moore have long praised the benefits of having a younger companion in their lives. Millions of women agree and have joined the ranks, and the stigma that used to be associated with an older woman dating a younger man is fading fast.

A handsome widower whose wife was ten years older comments, “Our age difference was never an issue. We had a wonderful marriage of 31 years because were unusually compatible.”

“What counts is how well the two individuals can form a partnership that works,” says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of many outstanding relationship books you can find at tinatessina.com. “Younger men enjoy the stability of an older woman who knows her mind and her heart.”

As in all relationships the real key to an enduring love is shared interests, similar energy levels and emotional, intellectual and physical compatibility. Research suggests that women enjoy their sexuality greatly in their later years. They are comfortable with themselves, they know who they are and what they want, and they have reached a certain level of sophistication and success in life. Many are financially settled and often more interesting to talk to, which younger men find particularly attractive. They are also more appreciative and let it be known how much they enjoy a younger man’s energy and enthusiasm, unlike younger women who often expect these assets as a given.

There are a number of other reasons why the trend is taking hold in our society. For one, older women can look so much younger today. Procedures from anti-wrinkle injections to cosmetic surgery can help a woman shed unwanted years and pounds. Additionally, staying healthier and in good shape is far more easy today. From yoga to Pilates, home exercise with tapes to classes at the corner gym, there are literally endless ways to spruce up body and mind.

A significant number of older women are coming back into the dating market because of divorce after a long-term marriage or simply because they live longer. On a recent evening I attended a social event of a club called “Older Women, Younger Men.” The younger males I talked to were decidedly clear as to why they prefer older women: “They are more interesting and more accepting and a lot less needy. Younger women never stop wanting whereas a mature woman’s attractiveness as a person can easily overcome biological factors. Age is only a problem in your own head. It is definitely not an inherent negative in any relationship.”

Jacqueline Brandwynne has worked in the health and beauty industry for more than 25 years and is creator of the Very Private line of products. Visit her at veryprivate.com.

Categories: Very Private

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